When you absolutely, positively need 1/4” tomato slices, what do you do? Sure, you could dig out the measuring tape, a hammer, and a laser level. Or you could even call in the Army Corps of Engineers, but there is a better way. The Amco Tomato Slicer cuts nearly perfect 1/4” tomato slices with just a press of your hands. Place a tomato, up to 3” in diameter, into the base, set the slicer on top and press down. Quickly and easily you are greeted with nine 1/4″ tomato slices.

See, isn’t that better than having the Army Corps of Engineers over? Can you imagine how many strangers would be using your bathroom?

$19.95 from Williams-Sonoma

Let’s face it, when you’re pretending a fork is an airplane to get some food into Junior — well, Junior knows that’s a fork.  Remember, Junior has the Discovery Channel now.  The whole airplane thing and the gassy noises that come out of your mouth for added effect only work so long before you have a face full of creamed peas.  The Air Fork One Kid’s Fork by Fred and Friends is a fun way to get your little one to eat up.  And it’s OK to make the gassy noises still.  Better buy two as you might never get it away from Dad.

$9.99 from Perpetual Kid

Do you cook with a lot of garlic, onion, or fish?  If so, don’t be offended when your family members, friends, coworkers, or even complete strangers off the street call you “stinky hands” and run away from you flailing their arms about.  Regular soap just doesn’t get rid of those funky odors no matter how much you scrub.  The Orka DEOS Stainless Steel Soap gets rid of those persistent odors by a process called oxido-reduction, which really means “magic” in English.  This tear-dropped shaped gem of a kitchen gadget is even on display at the New York Museum of Modern Art.  I can only only assume they chop a lot of onions and garlic while staring at a Van Gogh.

$9.99 at Amazon

Piece of toast stuck in the toaster?  Jamming a fork into the innards of the toaster is not recommended as you may scratch the toast.  Oh, and there’s that whole electrocution and death thing too.  Metal is one thing you want to keep out of your toaster.  Pudding is OK, metal is bad.  Put that on a sticky next to your toaster.  So, with the Wood Toaster Tongs, I’ve hung up my favorite tool for dislodging a stuck piece of toast – my car battery jumper cables.  The wooden tongs slip easily into the hot toaster to pluck out that pesky stuck toast.  And it also takes up much less space in the drawer than the jumper
cables.

$4.95 from Cooking.com

If you’ve ever gone to heat up your lunch at the office and discovered some cubical jockey has already done that for you… and left you nothing but the mushrooms from what was last night’s spaghetti and meatballs, then give this a try.  Maybe… Experimental Meal – Consume At Own Risk, Biodangerous – Yesterday’s Leftovers, or Nuclear Waste – Eat and Glow …will stop them from pilfering your lunch.  OK, doubtful as we all have that one coworker that will eat a packet of hot Chinese mustard, an entire ball poin pen, or even nuclear waste for a 25 cent bet.  “Heck yeah I’d eat that for a quarter.”

You get three containers in a set (13.5 oz, 20 oz, 33 oz) and each has a nifty dial to set the date so you know when it was put in the fridge.  This way the food doesn’t actually turn into what the label says it is.  After 89 days in the fridge, chicken and dumplings starts to look a bit gnarly.  Heck yeah I’d eat that for a quarter.

$8.99 from Think Geek

Cutting some simple slits into a pie top serves a purpose to let steam out, as well as adding a decorative touch, but why not add some pizazz.

The Nordic Ware Reversible Pie-Top Cutter has leaves on one side and apples on the other.  Pressing the pie-top cutter over your top sheet of pie dough neatly cuts out pieces of apples or leaves to add to the top of your pie for that serious wow factor.

And it also serves a useful purpose to help identify your pies.  The apples easily identify an apple pie.  And the leaves represent a leaf pie.  Wait a second.  No that can’t be it.  Ah, Autumn – the leaves represent a season.  But, hey, I may be onto something with that leaf pie idea.  101 Leaf Pie Recipes.  Look for it in books stores in the Autumn of 2009.

$11.99 from Sur La Table

An 8 oz. plastic cup: 5 cents
An 8 oz. crumpled plastic cup: free (look in the trash)
An 8 oz. ceramic cup made in France and designed to look like an 8 oz. crumpled plastic cup: $18

Aren’t the French funny?

Actually I like this cup.  In fact, my Dilbert mug may be getting retired.  And just imagine the conversations it will start with the folks at the office.  “Hey, neat cup.  Where did you get it?  How much?  You paid what?!!!!”  Multiply that conversation by 182 times per week.  Sold in a set of six.  Which might be a good thing.  If someone swipes it or the cleaning crew throws it away, you’ll have 5 more waiting in the wings.  Made in France by Revol.

$109.95 for six.  Buy from Cooking.com

I’m a sucker for salt vaults and this one’s a beauty.  Salt is such a huge part of cooking and having it on hand and easily accessible for each layer of your ingredients is so important.  This salt box is especially nice for its easy one handed opening and beautiful soft lines.  It’s made of neem wood, a tropical evergreen native to Southeast Asia.  The natural vegetable oil rub brings out the rich mahogany-like grain of the neem.  And even though it looks like a perfectly respectable lidded chili bowl.  It is not leak proof.  Please use your Tupperware when bringing chili to work.

$18 from Napa Style

Think long and hard before tossing that can of Chef Boyardee ravioli into your shopping cart.  What if you bumped into a friend?  A coworker?  A neighbor?  And they glanced into your cart.  GULP!  You could easily explain the Pabst Blue Ribbon as a cheap beer to make beer-can-chicken, but  how are you going to explain the canned ravioli?  If you’ve got kids, there’s a good out, but if your kids are grown, or you don’t have any… man, you are so busted.  Preparing fresh, handmade ravioli is easy and quick, especially with the help of these ravioli trays.  Make your dough, roll it out into a sheet and place it in the Italian made aluminum form.  Press in your filling, add the top sheet of dough and roll over with the rolling pin.  The ravioli is cut and ready to cook.  Seriously, it’s that simple.  Now, can I talk to you about that boxed macaroni and cheese in your cart?

Round or Square $26 each.  Buy from Sur La Table

These spun bamboo wine and hors d’oeuvres trays are perfect for the upcoming holiday season.  Have them on hand at your next party and you’ll wonder how you ever managed without them.  Slip your wine glass into the slot and now you have a free hand to eat and to easily gather more food.  Not recommended for your yearly split pea soup and tapioca pudding party.

$85 from Viva Terra

I don’t care what it says on the package – my butter stays out of the fridge.  The French have been using these ceramic butter crocks for a very long time to keep their butter fresh without refrigeration and many of them are still alive.  The butter is packed in the lid and water added to the base.  The water creates a seal that keeps out oxygen so the butter stays fresh without refrigeration and spreadably soft.

Soft, spreadable butter is a key ingredient to my delectable PBSTBBBB&B sandwich.  That’s my own recipe.  It’s a peanut butter, sardine, tuna, blueberry, bacon, bologna, and butter sandwich that I developed a few years ago during a 12 hour Brady Bunch marathon showing on TV Land.

Let me know if you need the recipe.  It’s not just a matter of stacking all that foodie goodness up on a piece of bread and thinking it’s going to taste good.  Believe me, there’s a delicate balance of all those ingredients to make it just right, otherwise it’s going to taste kinda funky.

$25.95 at Sur La Table

Yesterday while standing in line at the post office, I thought to myself, “I’m hungry, I wish I had some Cheerios.  If only I had a squishy bowl that I could put in my pocket so I could have a bowl of cereal, or perhaps some chili, or even vanilla pudding.  Oh, how the time would fly by.”

Really, that was an actual thought I had.  I won’t go into the exact details about some of my other thoughts I had while standing in line, but real quickly, they involved spray paint, a Greyhound bus, and thirteen Mallard ducks wearing tuxedos.  Strange, I know – who thinks about spray paint?

Then I thought, these aren’t just perfect for the post office, but at the work place, for back packing, water for the dog during trips, or even while standing in line at the DMV.  Don’t get me started on what I think about there.

$16.99 from Think Geek

Once upon a time, there was a hamburger at McDonald’s called the McDLT – it’s claim to fame was Jason Alexander of Seinfeld, sporting a full head of hair and busting some pretty serious dance moves (yes, it can be seen at the end of the post).  Wait, that wasn’t it – the McDLT’s claim to fame was the ginormous styrofoam box that magically kept the hot side hot, and the cool side cool.  Sure, you could drink out of a styrofoam cup to get the same effect with your beverages. It would definitely keep your drink warm or cold, depending on what it was – but drinking out of styrofoam — well, isn’t as cool as it was in the 80′s.  You remember, it was all the rage.

A conversation sometime in the decade of the 80′s…

Englebert: Awesome styrofoam cup.  You are very styling.  They compliment your Members Only jacket nicely.
Mike: Awesome, thanks.  This awesome styrofoam keeps my cold beverages cold and my hot beverages hot.  Plus, styrofoam is super awesome for the environment since you don’t have to wash them and waste all that water.  You just toss them in the trash.
Englebert: That’s awesome.  You, are are a visionary.
Mike: Super awesome.  Hey, after work I’m going to buy a new Sony Betamax recorder.  It’s the future of video.
Englebert: Awesome.

You can really be styling and keep your beverage hot or cold in a Bodum Double-Wall Thermo Glass.  These stylish tumblers are hand blown and use boron oxide in place of the soda and lime used in traditional glassware.  Because of the boron oxide, they are thinner and lighter, but actually stronger than normal glassware.  The double-wall construction creates an air pocket that keeps hot liquids hot, and cool liquids cool.  Another added benefit of the double-wall construction is that ice cold liquids won’t cause condensation on the outside of the glass.  How totally awesome is that?   Sold in a set of 2.

$14.95 from Amazon

Jason Alexander busting some dance moves…

Interesting baskets give any room a little more flair. These wire baskets are no exception. They are made from metal wire and finished with a powder coat for added life and rust-resistance. Perfect for fruits, vegetables, and pudding. OK, pudding – maybe not so much. The baskets pictured here are round, but an oval set with nifty handles are available as well. Set of 3 baskets.

Price: Round $48 and Oval $58 – Buy from Napa Style

The only way to get your tea fix any faster than using the Bodum Ibis Electric Kettle would be to stick a wad of loose leaf tea between your cheek and gum, just like chewing tobacco. So, the choice is yours. Drop the kids off at school looking like a major league shortstop, or wait less than four minutes for the 27 ounce Bodum Electric Kettle to get your water up to temperature. Decisions, decisions.

Price: $29.95 – Buy from Crate and Barrel