From the category archives:

Kitchen Gadgets

Holy ravioli Batman!  Fred and Friends have come up with yet another way to make mealtime for the little ones a whole lot of fun.  The Souper! Spoon is part action figure, with posable arms and legs, and part stainless steel spoon.

The idea came from a true story of a hiker in Washington state who was eating from a can of Beanee Weenees at his camp site when he was tragically struck in the head by a bolt of lightning and fused the spoon he was eating with to his body.  Yes, it was a very large spoon.

Initially, he was devastated by the freak accident. His girlfriend left him and was fired from his job as the Zamboni driver at his hometown ice skating rink. He slipped into a deep depression and ended up putting on an enormous amount of weight.  But, after a few years of therapy, he opened an ice cream shop and his whole life turned around.  He found his true calling and even lost all of that depression weight and started wearing a black and purple spandex jumpsuit at the ice cream shop to show off his new physique.

There was a movie made about the guy, called Beenie Weenie Spoonhead Man, but it went straight to DVD so not to many people saw it. Check it out if you have Netflix.

The Souper! Spoon is available at Amazon.com – $10.

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When I see this orange food tray I think back to my days in lockup at the notorious Sing Sing prison in New York; doing hard time for swiping frozen burritos from 7-11. Frozen burritos, once you try just one, you’re hooked and it only gets worse. Burritos lead to Hot Pockets and the next thing you know—you’re doing time at Sing Sing, eating off orange trays and discussing molecular biology as well as the fine art of making a shank from a toothbrush with a guy named Bubba.

Sing Sing is where I got one of my favorite prison tattoos—Julia Child holding a raw turkey with wings outstretched—representing my longing for freedom.

Sure, the experience at Sing Sing sounds like a good time, but if you have a full time job or a phobia of jumpsuits, you might not want to do a 3 year sentence there.  You can still replicate prison life by spraying yourself in the face with pepper spray and eating off one of these reproduction Sing Sing Food Trays which, according to the manufacturer, is “food safe.”

Don’t forget to stab yourself in the arm with a Bic pen about a thousand times too—for the tattoo experience. If you’re going to replicate what prison life is like, you might as well go all out.

$12.99 – Buy at Sporks

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I’ve got this whole recession/economic meltdown/end of the world thing all figured out.  So, you’ve got a kid in college and it’s costing you a fortune.  Send them the Zing Spoon food launcher by Fred and Friends and all your troubles will be over in a jiffy.  Your kid will be giddy beyond belief and take their new toy to the college cafeteria at the first opportunity.  They will zero in on a target — probably on somebody named Kip, Biff, or Scooter and let Thursday’s Mystery Meat fly.  With some luck, your kid will get kicked out of school and sent packing.  With nowhere else to turn, your kid comes home.

Well, no kid of yours is going to just loaf around the house taking up space, so you have them mow and weed the lawn.  Now you can cancel the lawn service.  So, with the purchase of this $10 spring loaded spoon, you’ve saved the college and lawn care expenses.  Life is grand now.  Recession smeesession—or whatever the media is calling it–doesn’t affect you.

But thinking about this plan a little–your kid is probably going to eat 3 times their weight in food each day.  Always wanting to borrow the car, begging for money, blasting their music, and playing the Wii until 2am.  Isn’t this why you sent them off to college in the first place?  Maybe you should skip the Zing and send them a care package consisting of a bag of Cheetos, deodorant, and new underwear instead.  Perhaps this recession thing isn’t all that bad after all.

$9.99- Buy from Perpetual Kid

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Sometimes a kitchen gadget comes along that is so revolutionary and fills such an important need, making our lives easier, richer, and increase our joy of cooking and eating–as Squishy Bowls do.  Sadly, the Pizza Pro Scissors isn’t one of these revolutionary kitchen gadgets.  At first when I saw this tool I thought, “That’s kinda dumb.”  But then, after a while, and after giving it some consideration, I thought, “That’s kinda dumb, and I’m afraid of it.”  I tried to envision a situation when I would use this pizza cutter/scissor/thingy and my mind drifted off and I started thinking about Lionel Richie’s pants in the All Night Long video.  I don’t know which I’m afraid of more, the Pizza Pro Scissors or Lionel Richie’s pants.

$19.99 – Buy (haha) from Skymall

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It’s that time of the year, gravy goodness will be flowing soon–or it could be gravy grossness if you don’t get rid of all that fat from the meat drippings first.  There are all kinds of methods for separating the fat from the drippings, but using a fat separator is, in my opinion, the quickest and easiest.  The OXO Fat Separator comes in two sizes, a 2-cup and a 4-cup.  They are heat resistant and have a built in strainer.  I personally have the 4-cup and love it.  OK, did I just say I loved a fat separator?  I think I’ve been spending way too much time with all these kitchen gadgets.

$11 for the 2-cup and $15 for the 4-cup

Buy from Sur La Table

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“Touch my Le Creuset cookware with that metal spoon and face my wrath–and could you please run to the store and pick me up a can of evaporated milk?”  Boy, I wish I had a nickel every time I’ve said that.

Sure, there’s plastic, rubber, or silicone–but the plastic and rubber can melt, turning your world famous macaroni and cheese into macaroni and cheese and globs of melted cooking utensil–and the silicone has about as much personality as a vacuum cleaner.  In my personal opinion, nothing feels better in the hand, looks better, and is as safe for your fine cookware as wood.

These Mediterranean Olive Wood Spatulas and Spoons, with such rich and colorful grain, pretty much blow every other wood utensil I’ve ever seen, completely out of the water.  Crafted in France.  5 piece set comes with 2 spatulas and 3 spoons.  Also sold individually.

$49.99 — Buy from Chef’s Catalog

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Eek gads!  What is that unsightly thing?  Oh, it’s your old plastic salad spinner.  Hide that thing quick, before the neighbors see it.  A salad spinner is a necessity in the kitchen as nothing is better for cleaning and drying leafy vegetables, herbs, and berries.  But plastic?  Plastic is so 1997.  Bamboo is the new plastic.  This Bamboo Salad Spinner works just like a standard salad spinner, but replaces the plastic bowl with an environmentally friendly bamboo bowl for spinning and for serving.  A serving bowl you could be proud to show off to your family members, neighbors, or the UPS driver.  And you could even burn it if you needed warmth in a freak indoor ice storm.  Try that with your plastic salad spinner.

$24.99 from Solutions

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Everyone has a top three list of things they fear most in life.  Mine are food poisoning, shower curtains, and being attacked by an angry mob of chickens outside a KFC.  I feel I can control the food poisoning fear by frequent hand washing, especially during meal preparation.  I must wash my hands a dozen times for every meal I make.  With cereal, it’s only about nine times.

Call me a freak, but get food poisoning a couple times in your life and you’ll be a hand washing convert.  I even hate touching the soap dispenser.  I always try to find that itty bitty spot on my hand that hasn’t been touched by the food I’m preparing, so I can push down on the dispenser to get my soap fix.  That can be a pain and usually ends up with soap missing my hand altogether.

The SimpleHuman Sensor Soap Pump makes hand washing a snap and reduces the chance of cross-contamination by automatically dispensing soap into your hand for touch-free operation.  After dispensing the soap, a 20 second timer kicks in so you know how long to wash your hands, ensuring they are bacteria free.  Made of polished stainless steel, black plastic, and acrylic.

*With the availability of the SimpleHuman Sensor Soap Pump, I have replaced food poisoning on my fear list with the fear of the planet Venus.

$40 from Sur La Table

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The fine folks at Fred have taken the spoon rest design literally and created… drum roll please… The Spoon Rest.  A soft silicone pillow, perfect for cradling your spoon and minimizing stains and spills on your stove top and counter.  But most importantly, it gives your spoon some needed rest from all that cooking.  We all know how cranky a spoon can get without their rest.  They complain about how much salt you use, laugh at you for breaking the Hollandaise sauce, and talk about you behind your back to the forks and butter knives about you buying Velveeta cheese.  Spoons can be very elitist, especially without adequate rest.

$7.99 from Perpetual Kid

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When I was a kid I used to spread as much butter as a slice of bread could hold, then stick it in the toaster to toast.  I was a child genius—isn’t it obvious?  Mom, if you’re reading this.  I don’t think that had anything to do with all of the toasters that caught on fire.  Some coincidence, eh?

Many a toaster in my childhood could have been spared if the Toastabags were around back then.  With the Toastabag, you can make a sandwich loaded with your favorite goodies, slide it into the space-age plastic bag (can I still use space-age in 2008?), then stick everything into the toaster to heat up.  That is, provided the slots on your toaster can hold two slices of bread and all the fillings.  If it won’t, sit on the sandwich after making it.  It will fit.  In just three short minutes you have a grilled insert yummy filling here sandwich without the laborious grilling.  How cool is that?  The inventor of this should win a Nobel Prize, or at least get a ride in the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

For sandwich ideas see: The Bell Butter Crock is the Secret to the Delectable PBSTBBB&B Sandwich

$9.95 from Firebox

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When you absolutely, positively need 1/4” tomato slices, what do you do? Sure, you could dig out the measuring tape, a hammer, and a laser level. Or you could even call in the Army Corps of Engineers, but there is a better way. The Amco Tomato Slicer cuts nearly perfect 1/4” tomato slices with just a press of your hands. Place a tomato, up to 3” in diameter, into the base, set the slicer on top and press down. Quickly and easily you are greeted with nine 1/4″ tomato slices.

See, isn’t that better than having the Army Corps of Engineers over? Can you imagine how many strangers would be using your bathroom?

$19.95 from Williams-Sonoma

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When I first saw the RSVP Herb Scissors, I thought to myself, “Wow, those would really freak out a hairstylist.”  I’m thinking if hairstylists have nightmares, these scissors are probably a main player.  Well, these scissors and having to cut Donald Trump’s hair.  Whoa, scary.  Anyway, the five 3” stainless steel blades allow you to cut herbs directly into a pan or over a plate for garnish, which is pretty handy.  Sure, you could use a knife and a cutting board, but seriously—check these things out and tell me you wouldn’t want a pair.  You could run walk around the kitchen yelling, “WOLVERINE!“  How cool would that be?

$12.99 from Chefs

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Priced fresh herbs lately?  Forget investing in gold–buy basil.  And the sad part is how quickly herbs go bad if you don’t use them up right away.  But here’s a great solution–the Herb Savor by New York based Prepara.  This device will keep your herbs fresh for up to three weeks by keeping the stems submerged in water and the leaves propped up where they stay cool and dry.  This prolongs the freshness, saves you money in the long run, and ensures you have some of your favorite herbs on hand at all times.  Very cool.

$29.95 at Amazon

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Let’s face it, when you’re pretending a fork is an airplane to get some food into Junior — well, Junior knows that’s a fork.  Remember, Junior has the Discovery Channel now.  The whole airplane thing and the gassy noises that come out of your mouth for added effect only work so long before you have a face full of creamed peas.  The Air Fork One Kid’s Fork by Fred and Friends is a fun way to get your little one to eat up.  And it’s OK to make the gassy noises still.  Better buy two as you might never get it away from Dad.

$9.99 from Perpetual Kid

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Do you cook with a lot of garlic, onion, or fish?  If so, don’t be offended when your family members, friends, coworkers, or even complete strangers off the street call you “stinky hands” and run away from you flailing their arms about.  Regular soap just doesn’t get rid of those funky odors no matter how much you scrub.  The Orka DEOS Stainless Steel Soap gets rid of those persistent odors by a process called oxido-reduction, which really means “magic” in English.  This tear-dropped shaped gem of a kitchen gadget is even on display at the New York Museum of Modern Art.  I can only only assume they chop a lot of onions and garlic while staring at a Van Gogh.

$9.99 at Amazon

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If you’re like me and have a terrible habit of using public library books as cutting boards, the genius minds at Fred and Friends have come to the rescue. Slice, dice, and julienne all you want on this cutting board with no fear of destroyed book fines.  Made from solid hard beechwood, lightly dressed with mineral oil, and measuring 6”x9.5”.  A whimsical addition to any kitchen.

$11.99 from PerpetualKid

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Piece of toast stuck in the toaster?  Jamming a fork into the innards of the toaster is not recommended as you may scratch the toast.  Oh, and there’s that whole electrocution and death thing too.  Metal is one thing you want to keep out of your toaster.  Pudding is OK, metal is bad.  Put that on a sticky next to your toaster.  So, with the Wood Toaster Tongs, I’ve hung up my favorite tool for dislodging a stuck piece of toast – my car battery jumper cables.  The wooden tongs slip easily into the hot toaster to pluck out that pesky stuck toast.  And it also takes up much less space in the drawer than the jumper
cables.

$4.95 from Cooking.com

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If you’ve ever gone to heat up your lunch at the office and discovered some cubical jockey has already done that for you… and left you nothing but the mushrooms from what was last night’s spaghetti and meatballs, then give this a try.  Maybe… Experimental Meal – Consume At Own Risk, Biodangerous – Yesterday’s Leftovers, or Nuclear Waste – Eat and Glow …will stop them from pilfering your lunch.  OK, doubtful as we all have that one coworker that will eat a packet of hot Chinese mustard, an entire ball poin pen, or even nuclear waste for a 25 cent bet.  “Heck yeah I’d eat that for a quarter.”

You get three containers in a set (13.5 oz, 20 oz, 33 oz) and each has a nifty dial to set the date so you know when it was put in the fridge.  This way the food doesn’t actually turn into what the label says it is.  After 89 days in the fridge, chicken and dumplings starts to look a bit gnarly.  Heck yeah I’d eat that for a quarter.

$8.99 from Think Geek

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Cutting some simple slits into a pie top serves a purpose to let steam out, as well as adding a decorative touch, but why not add some pizazz.

The Nordic Ware Reversible Pie-Top Cutter has leaves on one side and apples on the other.  Pressing the pie-top cutter over your top sheet of pie dough neatly cuts out pieces of apples or leaves to add to the top of your pie for that serious wow factor.

And it also serves a useful purpose to help identify your pies.  The apples easily identify an apple pie.  And the leaves represent a leaf pie.  Wait a second.  No that can’t be it.  Ah, Autumn – the leaves represent a season.  But, hey, I may be onto something with that leaf pie idea.  101 Leaf Pie Recipes.  Look for it in books stores in the Autumn of 2009.

$11.99 from Sur La Table

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I’m a sucker for salt vaults and this one’s a beauty.  Salt is such a huge part of cooking and having it on hand and easily accessible for each layer of your ingredients is so important.  This salt box is especially nice for its easy one handed opening and beautiful soft lines.  It’s made of neem wood, a tropical evergreen native to Southeast Asia.  The natural vegetable oil rub brings out the rich mahogany-like grain of the neem.  And even though it looks like a perfectly respectable lidded chili bowl.  It is not leak proof.  Please use your Tupperware when bringing chili to work.

$18 from Napa Style

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